-List 10 things you want to say to people but know you never will.
-Don't say who they are.
-Never discuss it again.
1. I am tired and sick of you; you have been wearing me down all my life. You have attemtped to dictate my life even if you know it makes me unhappy. You are one of the people I hate the most, but I am nice to you when I have to because you know where I live, and you know how to ruin my life. I am totally sick of the fact that you are an attention whore; you are an attention whore to the maximum extent where you can't stand being in a room full of strangers because you know they don't know you, and you don't like it. Also, when you are in a room full of strangers, you run away and pay attention to people who adore you. When one gets into the spotlight instead of you, you panic and do stupid stuff just to shove the aforementioned one (you also make sure that the aforementioned one gets bruises and scars from your shove) out of the spotlight. All my life my personality have been blended out into the background because of you. People have deemed me to be worthless than you because you are basically an attention whore. You complain about those people paying attention to you, but I can tell you are lying; you love the attention you receive from people. You love having your own little unofficial fan club, and you hate it when someone *gasps* get his or her own life that doesn't include your permission and notions of what life should be for everyone. When you make a decision, you assume everyone makes that decision along with you. When you decide that you want a specific lifestyle choice, every body must make that choice, and if they don't, you deem them to be horrible people but yet, you kiss up to them because you want to be able to manipulate them somehow. When I leave Arkansas, you will never see me nor hear from me again.
I won't be shocked if you think you are one of those people in this entry because you truly love attention to the point where you think every entry, moment, dream, notion in life is about you.
2. You are important to me; we talk all the time. I am so glad that you don't follow the society's standrards. I enjoy talking to you because you, unlike the others, follow your dreams. I know you are in a little mess because of your love life, but you will get through it; I know you will because you are an awesome person.
3. I have known you for few years, and I have to say it, but I doubt our friendship will last. You and I have been through significant changes in our lives; you have turned to alcohol for answers, I have turned to the internet (the good part) for answers.
4. Ugh, you are the split image of the person in #1, I don't know which is worst; you are part of her fan club. What she does, you do; what she sees, you see; what she feels, you feel; what she wears, you wear; what she wants to be, you wants to be. I don't understand why we bother talking to each other when it is quite clear that your friendship is futile; you constantly manipulate me, and I let you. I don't know why I let you manipulate me, but I do know one thing: I strongly dislike you, you whine about how many people pity you, but I can tell that you secretly live for it. You always preach about how important it is to be yourself, but you obviously don't take your own advice. You constantly ignore me when you don't need me. Frankly, when I get the hell out of Arkansas, I hope to never see you again ever and forever.
5. Knowing you for a decade, I used to think you were a terrible person. We used to always get in fights and etcetera, but we get along now. I am surprised that you constantly support me even if my religious beliefs are different from yours. You support me even if we want different things in life. I thought you were a brat, but you are not a brat anymore.
6. Honestly, if I talk about you, all I could think: "Please stay away from me."
7. I enjoy your conversations; you are one of the few people who truly support me. You have been there for me for a long time. You even don't mind talking about politics, sex, abortions, and etcetera with me.
8. Wow, you are a crazy religious person. That is all I could say about you. Oh, I also have something else to say: I hope I never see you after high school graduation again. You always tell me that I am important to you, but guess what? You have never treated me that way. I can tell that you don't want to admit it, but you follow your notions and instead on the Bible saying it rather than you. You don't want to admit it, but you hate yourself because you are not perfect. You taught me how to hate people, and because of that I hate you.
9. You made me feel worthless when you found out that I have a medical condition. I strongly dislike you. You always tell me that you are and will always be there for me, but you lied. I have called and tried to talk to you; you are never there for me when I need you. You are always in my space when I don't need you, but you bail when I tell you I need your help. Wow, what a nice liar you are. I want to thank you; thanks for letting me know that I can't trust you.
10. I have barely known you, but I can't believe you changed. I understand people changed, but it seems as if you changed in a bad way. Your English degenerated, you used to always tell me that education is important, but guess what? You gave up and took the easy way in life: adhering to the cultural expectants even if they expect you to be the person you are not. I doubt we will be friends for a long time. We will be just be in each other's distant memories.