spicychilies: (ka-pow!)
According to the new version of the beloved astrology chart, I am not a Gemini anymore; I am currently a Taurus. http://www.kottke.org/99/03/the-new-zodiac

I am sure I prefer being a Gemini rather than a Taurus.

Psh, I cannot believe I care too much about my sign.

Gemini:

Adaptable and versatile
Communicative and witty
Intellectual and eloquent
Youthful and lively


On the dark side....

Nervous and tense
Superficial and inconsistent
Cunning and inquisitive

That sounds like me.

Taurus:

Traditional
Taurus Traits


Patient and reliable
Warmhearted and loving
Persistent and determined
Placid and security loving

On the dark side....

Jealous and possessive
Resentful and inflexible
Self-indulgent and greedy


Uh, uh; I am totally a Gemini not a Taurus.

http://www.astrology-online.com/persn.htm
spicychilies: (pink-white flowers)
Please spread the word. A woman doesn't deserve to be punished for defending herself and her niece from rape. It's absolutely disgusting; she is getting punished for defending herself and her niece while it is perfectly okay for a man to rape? That's wrong. Please spread the petition!


"On January 3, 2006, 18-year-old Nazanin Mahabad Fatehi was sentenced to death for murder by court in Iran after she stabbed one of three men who attempted to rape her and her 16-year-old niece in a park in Karaj (a suburb of Tehran) in March 2005. She was seventeen at the time. Iran is signatory to international treaties which forbid them to execute any one under the age of 18; however they continue to do so."

Nazanin Fatehi, is sentenced to hang to death for defending herself and her niece from 3 rapists.
Because this trial has reached an international audiance, there will be a re-trial on January 10th. Please sign the petition to help save Nazanin's life.


Click here to sign the petition.

Click here to learn more about the trial.

Please support the fight for Nazanin's life, you can make a difference.
spicychilies: (Giza pyramids)
I passed my anatomy test with no mistake! Yayaya! However, I have a hard-core anatomy quiz this Monday, and I have yet to start studying! *cries* Nooo... I want to study right now, but...I am not in the mood to study. *sobs*

The result of my quiz? That totally describes me.


Set



Perfectionist, prone to anger or irrationality. Aspects of Duality.

Colors: male: turquoise, female: black
Compatible Signs:
Geb, The Nile
Dates:
May 28 - Jun 18, Sep 28 - Oct 2

Role: God of chaos, evil, the desert, war, violence, conflict, and sandstorms
Appearance:
Form of a man, with the head of an unidentified donkey-like animal. He was sometimes seen as a pig or a hippo.
Sacred animal:
the mythical "Set animal"


What is Your Egyptian Zodiac Sign?
Designed by CyberWarlock of Warlock's Quizzles and Quandaries


spicychilies: (Hobbitholes/A.P on the train)

HowManyOfMe.com
LogoThere are:
401
people with my name
in the U.S.A.

How many have your name?

spicychilies: (Zoolander: Jared Padalecki)
A mini-entry:

I totally dread my chemistry test, :-(. But at least I got my senior ring magazine. :-)

Yeah, that is all I could say right now.
spicychilies: (whoa)
Ten Things.
-List 10 things you want to say to people but know you never will.
-Don't say who they are.
-Screen comments.
-Never discuss it again.

1. I am tired and sick of you; you have been wearing me down all my life. You have attemtped to dictate my life even if you know it makes me unhappy. You are one of the people I hate the most, but I am nice to you when I have to because you know where I live, and you know how to ruin my life. I am totally sick of the fact that you are an attention whore; you are an attention whore to the maximum extent where you can't stand being in a room full of strangers because you know they don't know you, and you don't like it. Also, when you are in a room full of strangers, you run away and pay attention to people who adore you. When one gets into the spotlight instead of you, you panic and do stupid stuff just to shove the aforementioned one (you also make sure that the aforementioned one gets bruises and scars from your shove) out of the spotlight. All my life my personality have been blended out into the background because of you. People have deemed me to be worthless than you because you are basically an attention whore. You complain about those people paying attention to you, but I can tell you are lying; you love the attention you receive from people. You love having your own little unofficial fan club, and you hate it when someone *gasps* get his or her own life that doesn't include your permission and notions of what life should be for everyone. When you make a decision, you assume everyone makes that decision along with you. When you decide that you want a specific lifestyle choice, every body must make that choice, and if they don't, you deem them to be horrible people but yet, you kiss up to them because you want to be able to manipulate them somehow. When I leave Arkansas, you will never see me nor hear from me again.
I won't be shocked if you think you are one of those people in this entry because you truly love attention to the point where you think every entry, moment, dream, notion in life is about you.

2. You are important to me; we talk all the time. I am so glad that you don't follow the society's standrards. I enjoy talking to you because you, unlike the others, follow your dreams. I know you are in a little mess because of your love life, but you will get through it; I know you will because you are an awesome person.

3. I have known you for few years, and I have to say it, but I doubt our friendship will last. You and I have been through significant changes in our lives; you have turned to alcohol for answers, I have turned to the internet (the good part) for answers.

4. Ugh, you are the split image of the person in #1, I don't know which is worst; you are part of her fan club. What she does, you do; what she sees, you see; what she feels, you feel; what she wears, you wear; what she wants to be, you wants to be. I don't understand why we bother talking to each other when it is quite clear that your friendship is futile; you constantly manipulate me, and I let you. I don't know why I let you manipulate me, but I do know one thing: I strongly dislike you, you whine about how many people pity you, but I can tell that you secretly live for it. You always preach about how important it is to be yourself, but you obviously don't take your own advice. You constantly ignore me when you don't need me. Frankly, when I get the hell out of Arkansas, I hope to never see you again ever and forever.

5. Knowing you for a decade, I used to think you were a terrible person. We used to always get in fights and etcetera, but we get along now. I am surprised that you constantly support me even if my religious beliefs are different from yours. You support me even if we want different things in life. I thought you were a brat, but you are not a brat anymore.

6. Honestly, if I talk about you, all I could think: "Please stay away from me."

7. I enjoy your conversations; you are one of the few people who truly support me. You have been there for me for a long time. You even don't mind talking about politics, sex, abortions, and etcetera with me.

8. Wow, you are a crazy religious person. That is all I could say about you. Oh, I also have something else to say: I hope I never see you after high school graduation again. You always tell me that I am important to you, but guess what? You have never treated me that way. I can tell that you don't want to admit it, but you follow your notions and instead on the Bible saying it rather than you. You don't want to admit it, but you hate yourself because you are not perfect. You taught me how to hate people, and because of that I hate you.

9. You made me feel worthless when you found out that I have a medical condition. I strongly dislike you. You always tell me that you are and will always be there for me, but you lied. I have called and tried to talk to you; you are never there for me when I need you. You are always in my space when I don't need you, but you bail when I tell you I need your help. Wow, what a nice liar you are. I want to thank you; thanks for letting me know that I can't trust you.

10. I have barely known you, but I can't believe you changed. I understand people changed, but it seems as if you changed in a bad way. Your English degenerated, you used to always tell me that education is important, but guess what? You gave up and took the easy way in life: adhering to the cultural expectants even if they expect you to be the person you are not. I doubt we will be friends for a long time. We will be just be in each other's distant memories.
spicychilies: (whoa)
I have decided to suck it up and go ahead and take the foods/parenting classes.
spicychilies: (whoa)
First semester:
Honors Chemistry
Honors Anatomy/Physiology
Honors English
Pre-Ap Trigeometry

Second semester:
AP US History
French 3
Honors Geometry
Psychology

I am totally going to suffer all through my Junior year.
spicychilies: (Supernatural)
They say dreams are the windows of the soul--take a peek and you can see the inner workings, the nuts and bolts" Henry Bromel.


Only if...Only if...My bolts are not rusty.
spicychilies: (shine)
Today is my birthday. Um, yeah, I am seventeen-year-old now. It strikes me odd that I used to be excited about my upcoming birthdays and Christmas; but now I am like, "Oh, I am going to be 17 years old. Ok?," "Christmas is coming......Ok."
Birthdays and Christmas were important events in my life, but those are not important in my life anymore. I guess I am growing up. I didn't notice it was my birthday till 11 AM. Even Bill (my father) didn't notice. A lot of people didn't notice it was my birthday. *shrugs*

In two months: I'll be at school. I am so happy that June is halfway gone. I miss school. I know I was tired of school at the end of the year, but after three weeks without school I want to go back. I miss learning. I love to learn. I feel as if my math skills are declining. My English is not exactly wonderful.

Well, on the brighter side of my life I drive on my own a lot. Bill doesn't like the fact that I drive a lot now. I never know where I want to go; I'll mindlessly drive around and continually changing my mind. He loudly whines that I am wasting gas. Pfftsh, he always complain about how I stay at home all the time, but when I do go out: he complains about that too. I realized something about him: I will never make him happy no matter what I do. If I don't go out; he whines. If I do go out: he whines. Oh, well.

I have an appointment at Saline Country Hospital tomorrow. I am totally deprived of caffeine; I am absolutely addicted to caffeine, and I have a bad headache now because I haven't drunk caffeine for a long time. Well, I haven't drunk caffine for more than twelve hours, and I know by the others' standard, it is not a long time, but it is to me. I am sooo addicted to caffeine. I practically breathe it. The lady who called me about my appointment at the hospital told me that I cannot drink caffeine for 24 hours, or it'll mess up the EEG procedure.

I find it quite interesting that I want to go back to school, but at the same time I don't want to do schoolwork. It is a classic case of my lazy side rearing its head.

On the sunny side of my life, I found out that my cousin, who is the sister of the cousin who continually harrassed me about Gallaudet, told him that I'd make him into a woman in ten seconds if he doesn't quit harrassing me. I saw him yesterday, and he didn't harrass me at all. Yayaya!

The bright side of LJ: you can declare your life to the world because the world is bound to read your blog anyway.

The dark side of LJ: If you post news you don't want the world to know into a non-friends only entry, people you don't know will find out anyway.

The scintillating side of LJ is with me.

The force is with me. Star Wars totally rocks.
spicychilies: (Default)
I just need to vent my feelings out a little. In the previous entry I mentioned my day being so-so because someone in my family did something, and how people reacted to him.

Ok, I'm just giving out a little background about myself. I have an older half-brother. He is about 6-7 years older than me. The last time I saw him was when I was twelve years old. I dislike him so much because he sexually molested me a lot when I was younger. He told me to not tell anyone. I still haven't told all the people in my life. I'm tired of people constantly defending all the guys who sexually molested me, so that is why I only told one person. Anyways, he never liked me. He never talked to me. He never cared about me. We are not close. He have never sent me a card let alone a b-day card or holiday cards.

Anyways, Robert (half-brother) is in prison for murdering a baby. He told the court that he didn't kill that baby, but he admitted to his own father (we have the same mother not father) that he did kill his then-girlfriend's eleven-months old baby. The baby is not his own, but it was his then-girlfriend's. You know what else disturbs me? He is a pro-lifer. That is right; he throws a fit every time he hears about someone getting an abortion, yet he killed a baby on purpose. Some pro-lifers have asked me about him. They wanted to know why Robert was in prison. I told them what happened, and they replied, "At least he (the baby) was not aborted! The baby will have been traumatized if it was aborted!"
It makes me speechless because I grew up in a broken home with a drunk, abusive mother, and I still have many, many mental problems. That baby had been abused since he was born. Trust me, everyday abusive treatment does hurt a growing child. I don't consider a fetus to be a human. In my opinion, memories and self-awareness are part of what makes a human being. No, I don't consider people with amnesia to be inhuman because they know they exist. They just don't know who they are or whatever. It still strikes me odd that a lot of pro-lifers are willing to ignore children's cries for help, but yet they will do everything to stop a fetus from being aborted when said fetus doesn't know it exists. I have met many pro-lifers who told me that it is a good thing I was abused to death because I was not aborted. My opinions clearly differ from their opinions.

I'm sorry if I offend anyone, but it is one of the reasons why I have been feeling frustrated.
spicychilies: (shine)
This tuesday is going to be my last day of the sophomore year. I'm going to be a junior this fall. I can see my graduation day on the horizon. Two years left to go.......Two years until I become free. Two years in Arkansas.....Two years until my dreams come true.

When I become a senior, I'm going to be broken because I'm planning to apply to 37 colleges/universities.

I'm that determined to not go to CSUN, Gallaudet, NTID, and RIT.

If my dumb cousin makes one more comment about me having to go to Gallaudet, I'm going to make him into a woman in two seconds with my shoes. I'll make him suffer. When I get an acceptance letter from another college, I'm going to rub my nose in.

But anyways, my day is so-so. I found out that my dream university is flexible when it comes to people not taking AP english class. Unfortunately, my day is partially bad because of how someone in my "family" did, and how people reacted to his actions.

Two years to go.....Two years left in the hellhole. Two years to go.
spicychilies: (Neuschwanstein Castle)
~I got an A on my math test, which was shocking since I am terrible at radicals, imaginary numbers, and graphs.
~I have a french test tomorrow, and I'm supposed to study for it, but I am not because
je suis toute raplapla. (It means I feel wiped out in french)
~The history of the Romanov family and Russia completely fascinates me, and I have no idea why.
~Marie-Antoinette also intrigues me; therefore, je ai regarder cette filmique en Octobre.
It means, I am going to watch this film in October. It seems to be a good movie because a lot of
people in France love it, and my french teacher said that she thinks they strongly dislike Marie-
Antoinete, so the movie must be totally good.
~I have seven days left of school.
~I am really hopeful when it comes to the plans of my summer.
~I'm in a mood to get a dramatic haircut.
~I also want to dye my hair a funky color because brown hair looks boring to me now.

I guess that is it. :-)
spicychilies: (Pagoda)
Everything has been odd; school, family life, social life, and myself.

~I am an unofficial junior now because yesterday was the seniors' last day at my school.
~My family life has been hectic due to Karissa's pregnancy. I haven't seen Gina (biological womb carrier), but I have a feeling that I will see her more when Karissa's kid is born, which majorly sucks, of course.
~My social life has improved a lot. I have many friends at school now.
~I used to look like a thirteen-year-old girl with boob implants, but now a lot of people has been mistaking me for an eighteen-year-old female.
~I will be 17 years old in 32 and a half days.

Summer break is rapidly approaching, and I found myself wondering: what will happen to me?

I feel as if my life is a tornado: full of chaos, confusion, vulnerability, drama, immaturity, emotions, and....growing up.

Yep, that is my life, and I am almost seventeen years old.

Perhaps this is part of the teenage years....I want to be done with the teenage years, but at the same time I don't feel as if I am ready to cross over the line that has 'adulthood' all over it.
I want to grow up, but at the same time I just want to go to an ice cream shop and savouring the juicy taste of vanilla and chocolate dripping on my waffle cone again. I want to ride my old, pink bicycle with sparkly purple things on the handlebars and ride down the hill again. I want to scream at guys accusing them of having the cooties again. I want to feel the sheer emotion of victory when I kick my sister's ass again.

Those moments in my life were the best moments of my childhood, but despite all the fun things I did in my childhood, my childhood was dark. Those moments in my life were very, very, very rare.
I remember worrying all the time when I was a kid. I remember pretending that everything will be ok. I remember making up stories in my mind, so I could forget the dark moments in my childhood. I remember being jealous of the other kids at a park because I didn't have something they have. I remember pretending that their mothers were mine. I remember dreaming of a childhood I never had- a functional family. I remember crying during the night because I often dreamt of a loving mother who was there for me all the time, but then I woke up realizing that my mother was not the mother in my dream.

My previous teenage years were dark; although those years were not dark as the years of my childhood.
The reason why my teenage years were dark because I had to face the reality. I had to face the reality about everything. I had to admit a lot of bad things in my life. I was unable to escape from the reality through making up stories in my head.

Well, it is a good thing that I am growing up. I am looking forward to change my life. Maybe I will find the family I dream of. Maybe I will be fully happy for once. Maybe I will life the life I dream of. I know I cannot change my past, but I know I can change the future through my actions. The future is never set in stone; thus, I can improve my life. Maybe I will stop looking at the mirror and see my mother.......Instead of seeing her, I will see myself. Hopefully the ghost of my mother will stop haunting me.

Anyways, on the brighter note; how are you guys doing?
spicychilies: (germany)
I am in the mood to update; therefore, I am updating right now.

This month has been hectic and full of chaos. Few weeks ago, I found out my sister is pregnant. Hmm, I think the rest of my years in Arkansas will be very interesting. I have only two years left in Arkansas, and I am so glad about this wonderful realization. Gotta love epiphanies. I recently got a B on my math quiz. Well, it is not so bad when comparing to the fact that I got two Fs and one C on my homework. I hope my math grade is not suffering because of those bad grades, but again homework is more invaluable than quizzes in my math class, so I am probably lucky in that department.

I watched some good movies so far. I finally watched Breakfast at Tiffany's, and all I could say is that Audrey Hepburn is one of my favorite actresses now. I finally got my hands on the first season of the X-Files, but I don't want to watch it right now because Dad is here, and he hates, hates, hates when I watch "scary" or "paranormal" tv shows and movies. He threw a fit about the time when I rented The Werewolf Hunter, The House of Wax, and Cry_Wolf. He appears to think that all movies associated with horror and/or paranormal are part of a Satan-worshipping cult attempting to attract helpless victims into its dark world where vampires and werewolves are out to get angelic, sweet, non-killing, innocent, pure Christians. Gotta love those fundies.
Did I mention that he threw a temper tantrum when he caught me watching Supernatural? The episode of Supernatural he caught me watching was only about The Lady in White (ghost). He obviously haven't seen wendigos, vampires, and shapeshifters on Supernatural. Those mythical creatures are more scary than a ghost of the lady who killed herself because she drowned her kids in a bathtub.

This week has been interesting because my AOL somehow died on me last Friday, so I was internet-less for eight days. Yes, I counted because the life I am living is less fun than dirt.

Is it just me or does this year seem to be full of pregnant women? I now know at least sixteen women who are pregnant right now. I usually know one or two pregnant females per year, but this year seems to be full of pregnant women.

I have four weeks left of school. I am going to be a junior this fall. I have a feeling that my junior year is going to be very bizarre.

Oh, yeah. If you (as in general) are interested into late 1950s-early 1960s movies with comedy and love; watch Breakfast at Tiffany's. I am trying to convince my dad into buying me Tristan & Isolde, Funny Face, Paris when it Sizzles, and Sabrina.
spicychilies: (pudge)
I felt a strong desire to do a reading of the tarot cards. The results I got?

Major arcana
1.Root of the Matter: The Hermit card- It represents the need of the time to withdraw from the world. That time of withdrawing from the world is to be used for meditation and inner understanding.

2.Emotions and Relationships: The Devil card- I have an opportunity to be free from the bondage of my own fears and release energy. I am being restricted from a specific emotion need.

3.Intellect and Career: Justice Card- I will use logic and reasoning rather than my own feelings. My true aim in career is to achieve fairness and equality. I also aim to make improvements in the society.

(kind of creepy because all careers I want require logic and equality. Those said careers I want also make improvements in society.)

4.Heart of the Matters: The Hierophant Card- I have a wish to find a meaning in life that touches a deeper layer of the psyche than the desire for material success or social status. It may means a mentor is going to appear in my life. It also represents a time where I will not be satisfied with worldly aspects of my life and feel strongly inclined to search for inner meaning and purpose of my life.

5.Unconscious Influence: The Emperor Card- I am in a period of my life where I have to take material control over my world. The Emperor represents the inner energy I have to move things and make things happen.

6.Conscious Influence and Desires: The Hanged Man Card- I have a need to examine my ideas according to my current experiences. I would have to sacrifice things in order to gain some things. The card also suggests the need for descent into the unconscious in order to discover what is important to I.

7.Top of the Matters: The Death Card- Something in my life is dying to make way for a new beginning. The card also represents a symbol of change and transformation.


Minor arcana.

1.Present Position: The Ten of Swords Card- I have no hope. There is going to be realization emerging in my consciousness because the dawn is breaking in the card. Something may have ended. It is possible that an aspect of my attitude may have changed or ended. I also have an opportunity for something real and truthful to grow in place of falsify.

2.What Crosses Me: The Nine of Wands Card- This card suggests I have strength and determination. I have enough internal resources to battle through a stressful situation I am in right now; however, I doubt myself. I will have to rely on myself because nobody is able to help me. I will gain wisdom from the experiences of what I had gone through the battle with said stressful situation. This card also indicates a struggle, but it also holds a hope of victory even if it is impossible at the beginning.

3.What is Above me: The Ten of Cups Card- It indicates a sense of contentment and emotional fulfillment from some kind of relationship. This card also implies a sense of gratitude for the simple life; however, I have to gain the benefits of that simple life.

4.What is Beneath Me: The Seven of Swords Card- This card suggests a deed that is done in secret. It also suggests the use of tact or discretion. I can't talk about it before it is accomplished. I should be careful about being too free and open my feelings.

5.What is Behind Me: The Knight of Wands- There is a change in external or internal ways. I need to develop optimism and enthusiasm . I have to face life with a smile instead of a frown.

6.What is Before Me: The Five of Cups Card- This card represnts a period of sorrow. The five number refers to change and difficulty, which is more likely to be in the area of emotions. It also suggests something have gone wrong on an emotional level. I may have regrets over my decisions. It is very important for me to take responsiblity and understand my part and actions.

7.Where I'll Find Myself- The Four of Swords Card- The four number refers to stability. There is a period of recuperation and recovery. I will have a time of relaxation or release of tension, which might follow a time of emotional of strain or unhappiness. My mind and body need occasional periods of absolute rest. I am in due for a period of absolute rest.

8.How The Others See Me: The Eight of Wands Card- This card suggests energy and a keen desire for expansion. I am in a busy, productive period. I am full of possibilities and potentials.

9.My Hopes and My Fears: The Four of Wands Card- My hope is to have a time of celebration (wtf?). I also have a fear of losing myself when celebrating. (It makes sense about I.)

10.The Outcome: The Six of Wands- There will be a moment of public acclaim or glory has been achieve. There is going to be an emphasis of recongization. There is a possibility of me becoming famous, but there is also a chance that I would immediately become infamous after that.
spicychilies: (Neuschwanstein Castle)
I found out something quite interesting about female Geminis. Female Geminis are known to become chronic complainers. According to Sex Signs book, (I think it is the title of that book) we female Geminis become chronic complainers when we are completely unsatisified with our lives and they (lives) don't change. However, this generalization makes completely sense about I. I complain all the time because I am wholly unsatisified with my life, and my life refuses to change. Being a chronic complainer is written into my stars.

I know I am terrible at pronouns, but I am trying my best.

It is totally random, I know. I am bored, and I think I am going to look up more free information about my sign (Gemini). I strongly dislike those websites that require you to pay, but when you pay and is able to view those websites, it doesn't give out more information.


Bonne Annee! (Happy new year in French) Yeah, I am kind of in a weird mood, but it is freakin' hot in here.

Tu as un bon week-end? non, je n'ai pas un bon week-end. C'est chaud, et je suis mourir si la'ne suis pas frais dans vers trente minutes!

(translation)

Are you having a good weekend? No, I am not having a good weekend. It is so hot, and I'll die if it doesn't become cool in about 30 minutes!

Yeah, I am on a french (language) kick. Oh yeah, if you want to learn french by memorize what I typed down...Do not memorize those lines, I repeat, DO NOT MEMORIZE THOSE LINES because I am positive my grammar is slightly off. I am better at reading french than writing in french.

Je'n aime pas le printemps et l'ete parcue que c'est alors chaud et barbante. je regrette l'automne et l'hiver. :-(
Je voudrais une bouteille de l'eau parce que c'est chaud, et je voudrais suis frais. Oh, je ai plus soif.
O_O Je trouve je suis aller bonkers. Aussi je trouve francias suis prendre mon brain! Aider moi s'il te plait!

I am not going to bother translating what I just typed down. :-D

Edit: I may translate for you if you are extra nice to me. *grins*
spicychilies: (Neuschwanstein Castle)
I have come to a conclusion: I have no reason to become upset about my life because a lot of people who have caused me a lot of misery, agony, and suffering are making lifetime plans that are not as same as mine. All of those people will leave me in few years. Why am I making a fuss over them when I know I won't see them again/ or much when I graduate?

I know several people who have lost my trust will be gone in a specific amount of time, and they would probably never see me again because a) they realized they have truly fucked me up so they are running away from me, b)they had made plans that won't interfere with my plans, and c) I am trying to apply to colleges and jobs far away so I will never see them again.

Years later......If they try to make contact with me, then I won't respond back.

I know I am extremely cynical/ negative, but I realized there is a way of changing my life around. I know it is going to be a long time, but college offers another good opportunity: I can be the person I want to be.

I am going to apply to colleges in states that don't have any person knowing who I am. When I go to college, I won't have to worry when they hear my name because they won't think, "Oooh, she is that daughter of the slut. Something is wrong with her."

When I go to college, I am going to eliminate all of the negative things in my life including people who have turned my life into a prison. It is the only way. Eliminating all negative things in my life will help me a lot. It'll improve my self-esteem. I'll be happy. I think I'll tell those horrible people that I don't want to hear from them ever. I'll also tell them that I don't want to see them again.
.
.
.
.
.
I may change my name. Hmmm, I know my name fits my personality. The name Lisa suits my personality, but if those people continue to haunt me, then I may change my name.


I hope I won't lose my hope as I did few hours ago, but I really hope that I'll get the life I want.

Hmmm, if I ever get married to a wonderful guy who loves me back and etc; I won't bother to contact people who caused me a lot of problems to let them know I'd get married. I hope I won't talk to them ever again after I graduate.
Page generated Jul. 23rd, 2017 10:38 am
Powered by Dreamwidth Studios